


What's just happened?

by tipoima



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 02:50:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14802950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tipoima/pseuds/tipoima
Summary: Pink Diamond comes up with a new plan to save the Earth.





	What's just happened?

**Author's Note:**

> I finished it at 0:45 and didn't reread it at all, sorry.

It was just a regular evening in Beach City. The beach house was silent, with only Steven lying in his bed, falling asleep. The Crystal Gems, including Peridot, were away for two days already and weren't meant to return until tomorrow. Connie and Greg were sleeping in their homes. Lars and Off Colors were having a party with Sadie and her band, celebrating Lars's recent return. There was nothing that could disturb Steven.  
  
Suddenly, Steven got out of his bed. His gem started to glow, covering his entire body with pink light. His gem started to rotate and the light solidified, revealing the form of Pink Diamond, fully covering the hybrid's body, making it impossible to see.  
  
Pink Diamond stretched her limbs for a minute, before taking a deep breath. "I hope this goes better than my previous plans...", she said solemnly, stepping out of the house.

* * *

"Yellow, please, just relax. The finale of a cosmic jubilee is not the time to be concerned with such things."  
  
"It's _exactly_ the time, Blue! This is one of the few moments we are actually together and you are actually capable of rational thought", said Yellow Diamond angrily, "Your colony is running out of **SAND** of all things!"  
  
Blue Diamond blushed in embarrassment. "Fine, fine, I'll look into it soon."   
  
"My Diamond? Security chief is trying to contact you", Yellow Diamond's Pearl said, holding a screen with an Agate's face on it.  
  
"What in the stars' name is going on again?" Yellow Diamond said, with obvious annoyance in her voice. "What is it, Agate?"  
  
"My Diamond, there is a Sun Incinerator trying to dock to the station. It doesn't respond to any of our attempts to contact it."  
  
"Sun Incinerator? Hmm, I guess I won't need to execute that Emerald after all", she said to herself, "Let it dock."  
  
"Understood, My Diamond", the Agate said, ending the call.  
  
"That Emerald must have some nerve to not only come right here after failing like that but to not even say anything", Blue Diamond commented.  
  
"Or, alternatively, these off colors just broke the ship's communication systems, Blue."  
  
Before Blue Diamond could respond, both of them were silenced by the sudden opening of the door to their room.  
  
In the doorway was standing Pink Diamond, looking  _very_ pissed. Behind her, many shocked and confused gems could be seen.  
  
_**"PINK?"**_ , both Diamonds almost screamed.   
  
"You're alive! I have so many questions!", Blue Diamond happily said  
  
"Oh no,  _ **I**_ have many questions for you, shallow strata clods!", Pink Diamond shouted in rage, "WHAT DID YOU ALL DO TO MY PLANET?"  
  
"Look, listen, we thought you were shattered, so we...lashed out a bit." Yellow Diamond said defensively  
  
"I'm not shattered, but if you continue using such cloddy excuses, I swear, I will shatter you. You "lashed out a bit"? You turned everyone on the planet into insane beasts! Do you even know how many of our gems got hit by it?"  
  
"We-", Yellow tried to respond.  
  
"And why NOBODY bothered to tell me we can even do that?"   
  
"White argued-", Blue started  
  
"And before that? You took thousands of both rebels and OUR OWN gems and fused them into a world-ending abomination, just to make sure there's nothing left of my precious Earth? Are you completely insane?"  
  
"THAT'S ENOUGH!", Yellow Diamond snapped, "You have no idea how we felt! You have no idea what we went through in all this time! And what were YOU doing then?", she finished, hiding her tears in the process.  
  
 _"Perfect", Pink Diamond thought._ "Oh, me? Nothing much, I was just  **STUCK STRANDED IN SPACE FOR 5000 YEARS** ", Pink lied, "How could you not find me in all this time, while some random off colors did almost instantly?"  
  
Blue and Yellow were speechless. Having the blame be suddenly shifted to them broke all their of will.  
  
"...So...what will you do now?" Blue Diamond asked.  
  
"Now, I'm going back to what's left of my planet. Crystal Gems seem like a very nice alternative now. And if any of you care at least a little about me, please. Stay at least a galaxy away from me at all times, or I swear I'll either shatter you or die trying. That will be all."  
  
"Actually, I'm also taking my Zoo. Apparently, there's a bunch of my gems still there, so I'll be taking those. Goodbye, you monsters", Pink Diamond said, before leaving.   
.  
.  
.  
.  
"...How are we going to tell White about this?" Blue asked.  
  
Yellow Diamond looked through the still open door. Hundreds of elite gems invited to the jubilee and their subordinates, who heard every word of this conversation, were standing there.   
  
"I think she'll find out herself very soon."

* * *

Steven woke up from his sleep, feeling very tired, for some reason. He went to the door, to check the noise coming from outside. On the beach, he could see Amethyst playing around with the Famethyst. Holly Blue was sitting on a rock on a side, looking bored. Nothing unus-WAIT WHAT?  
  
"Amethyst?? What is going on?", Steven asked, horrified at what could cause Famethyst to end up on Earth  
  
"Hey kid!", Amethyst 8XJ said, "You won't believe what happened! Pink Diamond came out of nowhere and moved the Zoo here! Apparently, other Diamonds left her stranded in space? She left very soon, so we don't know much, but she was pretty clear she'd rather have us be with you Crystal Gems than other Diamonds. And then she flew away somewhere. I'm personally just glad she's actually fine. And being able to fly home whenever is a nice bonus too."  
  
Steven fainted.

**Author's Note:**

> While none of this was actually serious, do you people think that would actually work?


End file.
